Archives 2008

Sufficiently Advanced Technology: the Gathering

I can do magic. I don’t mean the card trick kind; I mean real magic.

I can hear dead people (I have on my iPod a wax-cylinder recording of a letter that Sir Arthur Sullivan sent to Thomas Edison, both of whom are dead).

Whenever a relative of mine is ill or has an accident, I know about it (my mom, who keeps in touch with everyone, calls me on the phone to let me know).

I can move objects with my mind, even from hundreds or thousands of miles away (my mind tells my fingers to do a Google search, which causes a disk arm in California to move).

We’re all familiar with Clarke Third Law, that “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”. A corollary is that magic is “merely” technology, if you understand what’s going on.

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Magical Eau de Pape (or: Habemus Odoris)

Greta Christina has scooped me, saying what I wanted to say, but making it sound purty. It concerns a testimonial for The Pope’s Cologne (a cologne supposedly made from a recipe that Pius IX enjoyed, or some such):

A few minutes before the brunch ended we got the bad news that a friend of my parents for over 50 years had just died. He was struggling with cancer but did not win the battle, he was 76 years old. The following morning we assisted the wake and as my mother hugged his widow she mentioned how pleasant her fragrance was. My mom proceeded to explain to her that it was a mother’s day gift given to her by one of her daughters. His widow expressed a feeling of peace and comfort as she was hugging my mom, and that it was the fragrance that made her feel this way. […]

What I experienced later will be a sight I will never forget!!! The widow used the cologne to “anoint” her husband EVERY 20 minutes. She would sprinkle it on his hands, his head, his forehead, and his neck. You could see in her eyes she had found a way of redemption through the cologne. Everyone was asking about the cologne and its origin. Everyone that came in to give her their condolences could not stop asking about the pleasant aroma they were experiencing. Everyone was quiet and in awe for hours. She also kept on rubbing the bottle as if it was some sort of amulet or charm.

(Bold emphasis added.)

Greta reaches the same conclusion as I did:

I do not ever — ever — want to hear another progressive theologian say that modern religious thought doesn't involve magical thinking. […]

But if you think nobody believes [in the personal interventionist God who answers prayers] in the rather larger world outside of theology schools, you need to visit Lourdes. Or attend a prayer meeting being organized by the parents of a terminally sick child. […]

Or else, just go to a funeral where the grieving widow is anointing her dead husband with Magical Oil of Pope.

But go read the whole thing.

How Could Anyone Possibly Think ID Is Religion?

The “Editorial Review” of Bill Dembski’s new book says that it’s aimed at

readers whose understanding may have been confused by educational bias and one–sided arguments and attacks.

In case you were wondering who exactly these readers might be, Billy clarifies:

[The book] is geared specifically at mobilizing Christian young people, homeschoolers, and church youth groups with the ID alternative to Darwinian evolution.

So there you go. ID is scientific, and there’s nothing religious about it. It just happens to be marketed at religious folks, but that’s just a coincidence.

No Point in Gitmo Anymore

The BBC reports:

Foreign suspects held in Guantanamo Bay have the right to challenge their detention in US civilian courts, the US Supreme Court has ruled. […]

The Military Commissions Act (MCA) passed in 2006 removed the right of habeas corpus and set up tribunals to try detainees who were not US citizens.

This is, of course, excellent news for human rights, and I’m glad the SCOTUS has done the Right Thing. Presumably this also means that the original reason for keeping these people in Guántanamo—in Cuba, and therefore outside the jurisdiction of US law—is gone.

Now, I’m sure that even now, a bunch of people are complaining about how the detainees in Guántanamo are terrorists and how we shouldn’t be coddling them.

I don’t doubt that a lot of the detainees are, in fact, enemy fighters, or terrorists, or generally supporters of America’s enemies, people who ought to be locked away for a long time. But the thing is, we’re supposed to have this thing called justice. And justice, being blind, applies to everyone, whether they’re pillars of the community or murderous scumbags. It’s one of those things that defines a civilized society.

As I understand the article, this ruling simply restored the right of habeas corpus to prisoners in Gitmo. For those who’ve forgotten, habeas corpus is when the government has to show that it has a good reason for keeping someone locked up. Basically, if a cop arrests you for looking like a drug dealer, he then has to prove that there’s good reason to believe that you really are a drug dealer, or else let you go.

Which brings me to the part that blew my mind:

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who voted against the ruling, warned that “it sets our military commanders the impossible task of proving in a civilian court … that evidence supports the confinement of each and every prisoner”.

WTF? Did he just say that it’s too much trouble to have to show to a court that every person currently locked up, should be locked up? I hope the reporter got this wrong, because the alternative is that we have an insane Supreme Court justice.

The Band Saw Effect

Ron Strelecki posted a comment over at chez Julia, which I think deserves wider circulation:

I regularly experience what I call the “band saw effect”. That’s the feeling I get when I am at a tool store looking at a $600 band saw that I need to do just one little thing. I can’t pay $600 for a band saw, and then return it after I cut one little piece of wood. I think to myself, “If I was a member of a church, there’d be a dozen old guys with band saws sitting in the back of their sheds. All I’d have to do is ask one old guy, and he’d say, ‘Oh yeah, Mike’s got a band saw…’ and then I’d go over to Mike’s and drink lemonade, do my band saw thing… maybe I’d get his VCR clock to stop blinking 12:00… everybody wins.”

That’s the kind of service that a Church really serves. Old guys with tools… Atheists have none of this. There is no gathering point. There’s no hangout. Churches serve a load of very real functions that you can’t imagine needing until they aren’t there. Like, how do you know your mechanic isn’t ripping you off? If he has to sit two pews away from you for the rest of his life and you babysit his kids, he (probably) won’t.

He’s right, of course. And this is one of the great benefits of religion: having a circle of friendly people.

On one hand, I want to say that people who identify themselves as atheists are the ones independent or antisocial enough not to care what other people think, or that they can’t in good conscience join a church. (As opposed to people who may not believe in any gods per se, but are members of a suitably-liberal church, and/or keep their doubts to themselves for the sake of fitting in.)

On the other hand, I want to say it’s our own damn fault: it’s not as if there aren’t any secular organizations to join, be it Toastmasters, the local library’s book-reading club, or just happy hour on Friday with your coworkers.

There are even explicitly atheist social organizations, like the Atheist Community of Austin, or the Beltway Atheists in Washington.

Redefining Marriage

One of the loopy denizens of Rapture Ready wrote:

My husband framed our marriage license when we recieved it in the mail, I was very touched because he did that. It is still in the same frame, and always will be. After I heard the news about legalized gay marriage, I just happened to look at my marriage license and my heart sank, it was as though it was stripped of it’s value.

(via FSTDT)

Imagine someone writing in 1967, after Loving v. Virginia:

After I heard the news about legalized interracial marriage, I just happened to look at my marriage license and my heart sank, it was as though it was stripped of its value.

If anyone can explain how this analogy is wrong, I’m all ears.

WTF, Bill?

The governor of Colorado just signed into law a bill that expands Colorado’s antidiscrimination laws to cover transgendered people.

Bill Dembski says that this

points up the lunacy that ensues in a world without design

To which I can only say, WTF?

Is he saying that this is the sort of thing that happens in an undesigned world? If so, isn’t that an admission that this is an undesigned world?

Or is he saying that the Unspecified Intelligent Designer—who may or may not be the god of the Bible, or might be space aliens—hates teh TGs? (Psst, Bill: your fig leaf for right-wing fundie creationism isn’t working.)

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Romeo

There’s a popular misconception that in Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet asks, “O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?”, she’s wondering where he is. “Wherefore” means “why”, not “where”.

In other words, she’s saying, “Of all the guys I could’ve fallen in love with, why did it have to be Romeo?”

Hope this sets things straight.

Politico’s Ways to Save the GOP

Politico has an article, compiled from advice from prominent Republicans, on how to save the GOP, if not from its current implosion, then at least in the long run:

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The Chasers Take On the Secret

For those who’ve somehow managed to miss it, The Secret is a bit of recent woo that says that if you just wish hard enough, you can create a pony that farts rainbows.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMJmbEqCR7k&hl=en]