Color Me Converted
I’ve just picked up Ellis Weiner’s book, Santa Lives!: Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus. The arguments are:
The Ontological Argument
We can imagine a perfect Santa Claus. A Santa Claus who exists is obviously more perfect than an otherwise identical one who doesn’t exist. Therefore existence is a necessary perfection. Therefore Santa Claus exists.
The Causal Argument
Everything has a cause. Therefore Christmas has a cause. We are ineluctably led to the conclusion that Christmas was caused by Santa Claus.
The Argument from Design
Christmas is a highly nonrandom event: the presents, retail frenzy, and festive holiday napkins all point to design, not chance. Clearly, Christmas must have been designed for a purpose by the master gift-giver himself, Santa Claus.
The Experiential Argument
Millions of people (mostly children) have had direct personal experience of Santa Claus. Surely not all of them are lying, insane, or deluded.
The Argument from Morality
Why do people strive to do good and avoid naughtiness? In ancient times, people made laws, and the laws were obeyed to avoid punishment. But Santa Claus provides a better basis for morality: presents.
Along the way in this slim volume, Dr. Weiner tackles such difficult questions as, could it be that Santa Claus is not an American? Is it possible that Santa Claus’s secret identity is Luciano Pavarotti? What is Mrs. Claus’s maiden (or, indeed, first) name?
The book’s site includes an excerpt. And for those who won’t or can’t read, a Flash animation of the author reading an excerpt.