Indian Stupid Burns Like a Hyderabadi Biryani

First, the Telegraph has a
story
about an Indian nun’s book about sex in the church:

The book by the former nun reveals how as a young novice she was propositioned in the confession box by a priest who cited biblical references to “divine kisses”. Later she was cornered by a lesbian nun at a college where they were teaching. “She would come to my bed in the night and do lewd acts and I could not stop her,” she claims.

When she was sent to Bangalore to stay with a priest known for his piety, he lectured her about the need for “physical love” and later assaulted her.

To steal a line from
Monty Python,
“may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no sex in the Catholic Church. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit”.

The article concludes with a spokesman who dismisses the nun’s claims:

“How far what she says is well-founded I
can’t say, but the issues are not very serious. We’re living with
human beings in a community and she should realise this is part of
human life
,” he told the Daily Telegraph.

(emphasis added.)

Oh, the irony! If the Catholic church would only realize that yes, sex
is part of human life, and would allow its priests and nuns to get
laid every once in a while, maybe there’d be less of this sort of
thing, to say nothing of child abuse.

(Cue BillDo in 3… 2… 1…)


The second item concerns an
op-ed piece
that appeared in
The Statesman in India.

The piece by Johann Hari argues that while people deserve respect,
ideas don’t. And that a recent UN resolution to avoid criticizing
religion has the effect of shielding human-rights abusers.

He and his editor have since been
arrested
for “hurting the religious feelings” of Muslims. You can’t make this
stuff up.

The Statesman’s
letters page
includes a letter entitled “Denigrating Islam”. Among other things, it
replies to Hari’s original contention that

I don’t respect the idea that we should follow a
“Prophet” who at the age of 53 had sex with a nine-year old girl, and
ordered the murder of whole villages of Jews because they wouldn’t
follow him.

with

Hari has made some vulgar remarks about the marriage of the Prophet with young Aisha, which incensed and hurt many readers of The Statesman. Muslims regard the pious wives of the Prophet as their mothers and hold them in high esteem.

Aisha, was not 9 but 10 years of age when she was married to the
Prophet, but came to live with the Prophet much later. It was after
attaining puberty when she was more than 15 years of age. Following
the Arab custom at that time, her father Abu Bakr, the first caliph of
Islam, proposed this marriage to cement his close relationship with
the Prophet.

Oh, so instead of a 53-year-old man fucking a 9-year-old, it was
actually a 58-year-old fucking a 15-year-old. I guess that’s supposed
to make it all right.

I’ve heard Christian apologists make similar excuses for the Old
Testament atrocities (e.g., by saying that Leviticus sets rules on
what you can and can’t do to a slave; which presumably makes it okay
to own human beings as chattel). I’m sure the fact that their Muslim
counterparts use similar arguments says something profound about the
ecumenical brotherhood of man or something. I can’t help imagining a
crowd of Christian and Muslim fanatics hand in hand with torches and
rakes, singing Kumbaya while marching to punish the heretics who would
disrespect their imaginary BFFs.

Jo Hovind Update

Kent Hovind’s weblog, normally devoted to imaginary conversations, now has a bit of news: Kent’s wife Jo was sentenced at the same time as her husband, to a year and a day. Her sentence was stayed pending the outcome of the appeals. Well, the appeal has gone nowhere, so she is now in prison in Marianna, FL. At the minimum-security satellite camp of FCI Marianna, to be more exact.

Who Flubbed the Oath?

If you watched Obama
take the oath of office,
you probably noticed some hesitation and fumbled words. No doubt this
will become the next thing on which to attack Obama: that he flubbed
his oath.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=274_VdeckAU&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0]

As far as I can make out, the transcript goes like this:

John Roberts: I, Barack Hussein Obama
Obama: I, Barack
Roberts [over]: do solemnly swear
Obama: I, Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear
Roberts: that I will… execute the office of President to the United States faithfully
Obama: and I will execute…
Roberts: the o— faithfully the pre— office of President of the United States
Obama: [over] the office of the President of the United States faithfully
Roberts: and will, to the best of my Ability
Obama: and will, to the best of my Ability
Roberts: preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States
Obama: preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States
Roberts: so help you God?
Obama: so help me God.

Article 2, Section 1
of the US Constitution gives the president’s oath of office as:

“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

So it looked as though they both deviated from the script (though
Greedo shot Roberts flubbed first), moving the word
“faithfully” out of its place, and adding “so help me God” at the end.

Slow News Day

CNN just gave a list of the coldest and hottest inauguration days.

I’m so glad to hear that the fighting in Gaza has ceased, that Europe has heating gas again, that no one is blowing anyone up in Iraq or Afghanistan, and generally that it’s such a slow news day that there’s nothing to do but fill air time with inauguration trivia.

PS: Dear Mr. Obama: please don’t fuck this up.

RIP Donald Westlake

Donald Westlake
passed away
after a heart attack as he was heading out for a New Year’s Eve
dinner. That sucks.

If you’re not familiar with Westlake’s brand of comic crime novels,
hie ye down to the local library and read him. I recommend the
Dortmunder series, starting with The Hot Rock (a gem
heist goes wrong, and the emerald has to be stolen over and over) and
Bank Shot (in which the gang decide to steal a bank,
rather than just rob it). Also Dancing Aztecs, which
has the funny-because-it’s-true clipboard scene.

He will be missed.

A Gay Outing

It’s funny how you never see the sights and do the “local” stuff in your own town. I went to Paris once, and stayed with a friend who had lived there for sixteen years, and had never gone up the Eiffel Tower until I dragged him.

Me, I’ve lived in the Washington DC area for years and years and had never gone to a protest. Which seems a shame: people come from all over the country to march and protest here. For me, it’s just a Metro ride downtown.


So when I found out that there was going to be a
series of coordinated protests
against California’s Proposition 8 across the country, I figured I
should go. I’m neither gay nor Californian, but I figured I could
raise the body count. Especially since the “coordinated” part meant
that the ones in Maryland and DC were going to start at 1:30. I pity
the poor Hawaiians, who had to be out on the streets by 8:30.

Read More

MD to Abolish the Death Penalty?

The Post
reports
that

A high-profile panel appointed by Gov. Martin O’Malley recommended last night abolishing Maryland’s death penalty, concluding that the state’s system of capital punishment is too costly and vulnerable to wrongful convictions and fails as a deterrent to crime to be sustainable.

From here, the report goes to the governor, and then to the legislature — which is a whole separate quicksand pit of committees and deliberation — before a bill abolishing the death penalty lands on the governor’s desk.

But it’s a step in the right direction. W00t!

Godless Buses

Local CBS affiliate WUSA 9
reports

The American Humanist Association, located in Washington, will announce its “Godless Holiday Campaign” on Tuesday with ads on Metro buses and in newspapers. The slogan for the campaign is “Why Believe In a God? Just Be Good for Goodness Sakes”.

The campaign coincides with bus ads by the British Humanist Association. The British ad reads, “There’s Probably No God. Now Stop Worrying and Enjoy Your Life.

Speckhardt says there will be full page ads in The Washington Post and The New York Times helping to launch the campaign.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find anything about this at the AHA’s
site. (Update, Nov. 11: Pictures of the ads here.)
But it’s still cool. The consensus among the crowd that attended
PZ’s talk
(and subsequent
hepatic ethanol solubility experiments)
was that the way for us godless heathens to get a voice in society is
to stand up and make ourselves known.

Of course, the other bit of consensus was that with a segment of the
population as argumentative and independent-minded as ours, it’s
nearly impossible to get organized enough to speak with a single
voice, especially since “there are no gods” is no more a rallying
point than “I don’t like sports”.

But still, it’s a step in the right direction.

(HT Shelley.)

(Update 2, Nov. 12: The Post had a story about this as well.)

Election Night Update

W00t!

More later.

Tuberophilia?

From the Telegraph:
Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom“.

A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital, said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

Look, if anal stimulation is your thing, at least invest in a quality
butt-plug from a reputable dealer. It might save you a trip to the
emergency room.

And while there are a lot of things that can be done in the nude, I
don’t think hanging curtains is one of them: there’s that whole
standing on a stepladder in front of an uncurtained window thing.